Journal 3

Hey Jesus.
Thanks for everything. Thanks for my life. Thanks for how You just work everything out for me. It's truly amazing and beautiful.
You do such amazing things that I can't even begin to comprehend. So I won't try. I'll just let it be what it is and praise You for it.
Oh, what praise my soul longs to give You! Oh, what great praise is due You! Oh, how my soul longs for You!
Better is one day in Your courts than thousands elsewhere. There's no where else I'd rather be. I love You, my Dear. My Dear.
You're so beautiful, Lord. There is none beside You and no one even remotely worthy, honestly.
I just want to rest in Your arms all the time, every day, all day. I want to be Your harmony. Give me clean hands, a pure heart, cast down my idols, O God of Jacob. I love Thee!
How precious is the Lamb that was slain so I could love the Father. Oh, how He reached out to this outcast and pulled me in, an outlier of society and brought me in to the banquet. Oh, how simple and powerful His love was and is and will forever be! I can't even understand living forever. I just know that Your Word says it will be awesome and I trust that for always.

You're moving in such cool ways on my floor, through our leadership and through people that live on this floor. It's amazing! I love how Your Gospel is going to be spread for real. I love how You love us so much and are bringing us all together. I love the community You have for us here.
It's so cool to see the girls growing together and hanging out more. I'm glad they can edify and support one another, despite their differences geographically, interest-wise, and even spiritually, experience-wise. Say it ain't so, my mind says. Oh yes it is, my soul shouts! Screaming from the rooftops, baby!

I think it's super cool the way God can move through darkness. We get so uptight about Halloween and vampires and werewolves and the "appearance of evil." Really? Man made that. Man doesn't know what evil is to begin with; they don't even know what light is. How could they know what evil looks like then? God's not offended. He loves outliers that like that stuff. I think evil appears pretty dang nice looking, we should avoid those pretty looking things. THAT'S what evil looks like. It just a twisting of that which is pure and good. Jesus probably wasn't all that pretty. And satan probably doesn't have a pitchfork or horns. He probably looks like an angel but smells like a demon. Anyways, God is awesome and isn't afraid of darkness; He freaking defeated it! We shouldn't be afraid either and I'm not anymore. The appearance that movies and people portray doesn't scare me. It may intimidate me because of the stigma attached to it, but it doesn't scare me. I digress. God is good and He loves us all.

It's raining in my room all the time (rainymood.com). I love it. It's so nice. Just plain and simply.

I miss being in a band and writing music. I really do like organizing worship and singing really isn't that big of a deal anymore to me. I just miss creating. I know God has cool doors for me to go through in the future and even now, I just hope He lets me create stuff, ya know? Like, I really want to work with super weird churches (as mainline churches call them) and help them develop fuller, more "theologically" understood worship. Not just throwing songs together and stuff. I want to learn how to pray for worship sets and the songs, but I also want to know how to think with the Holy Spirit through stuff and really encourage people through my guitar playing and stuff. I don't want to waste this deep burning passion for weirdos on normal people, if you will. I'd honestly love to know more about working in those mainline churches, but there's just this passion that always arises that draws me back to the outcasts and weirdos. I just love awkward people so much! Whether I am one or not, I don't care. I'm just sick of mainline churches casting them out and judging them and all that bologna. (see previous Halloween rant) I want people of all kinds to know the love of Jesus and to get in on the sweet banquet that's coming.
I don't know.
Just some thoughts.
I'm absolutely positive I'll return to them and keep ranting.
Maybe you'll keep reading.
Blessings.
I'm out to write my Theology of Worship paper on praise.
Sweet sauce and stuff.

Amen.