To Listen While Reading


Tuesday, November 19, 2013


I'll be honest--I'm a bit ticked right now.
I'm tired of seeing the opinion-based spewings of hardcore kids all over Facebook comment sections. Hiding behind good rhetoric is not gonna help anyone but will only make you feel better about yourself because let's face it, that kind of pompous language is an attempt to sound clever and witty and no one freaking cares unless you're hardcore. And isn't hardcore always about proving yourself to some group or someone? Isn't it always about hazing and bulljunk like that?
I've just about had it with the hardcore scene. It sucks. There's been very little good come out of it recently I feel like.
But here's my point...even this opinion that I have I don't hold on to in fear of being wrong. I just don't take myself seriously enough and try to cleave to a value system and defend it with my whole mind and fists that it matters enough. Constructive thoughts are wonderful, but I've just had it with the loaded academic rhetoric bull. What's the point? To be pompous? That's just plain dumb. Get a life.
Or really, friend, just realize that you're already good. There's nothing deficient with you. You needn't try to prove that anymore. Be yourself and love yourself and life. Jesus does about you, hardcore kids. He really does. You've got nothing left to prove. I promise.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Beliefs Aren't A Salve

Beliefs aren't a salve and doctrine can't be applied to solve life's problems.
Jesus did it all already.
To rest is truly the best.

Thursday, November 7, 2013


Have you ever just had those moments where something you've avoided for a long time suddenly pops up out of nowhere and you're pretty surprised about it? Just had one of those.
Healing is such a long and tough process, but it's necessary.
Don't ever give up on it. Don't let it become you and let communication happen where it's needed.
Friendship is important and it's important to remember that.

That was my frustration all along.

Looking to return to this topic again in the near future with vulnerability and shame, guilt, and fear as points of address. Excited!

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Tradition: The Most Valuable Source? A Valuable Source At All?

I've been thinking lately about the source of tradition in use of theology. Theologians claim four sources for doing theology: Scripture, tradition, reason, and experience. You've already heard me rip apart and book back together Scripture and now I'm thinking about tradition.
I've noticed lately the inclination that some people have towards listening too intently to others, throughout history and in the here and now/modern age. By listening too intently I mean listening to gain something from them selfishly. To gain some truth, some knowledge, some hope that you're not wrong or some secret about God. I see people studying the church fathers and modern pastors and every single thing in life too intently, so much so that, as much as they claim they don't, they begin to listen to rely on them for affirmation. They are looking for some outlet to agree with, to argue their point-of-view, to do something other than just listen. There always seems to be an agenda, doesn't there? I even have heard people say that we should listen, and then they turn around and say that's what being a good Christian is about. Even pleasing God is an agenda, as if He isn't already pleased. I know it's good to be a good listener, but not because it's what good Christians do and certainly not to gain something/some nugget of wisdom from someone so selfishly. No shame, but that's just selfish.
To me, I see every single human being as a gift. I see that everyone around me is learning about life in some way or another. Religiously and unreligiously (hopefully the latter). Seeing everyone as a gift, I long to JUST live in community with each person, living and yes, learning from them, but just because I'm friends with them. To learn from them is not a goal, but I know it is a natural bi-product and that rules. I simply long to share in intimacy, vulnerability, and to ask people if they're feeling loved; I long to love and that is IT. I don't wish to glean something from anybody, I just want to hear them out because that's how I love them because I WANT to, not because it's my Christian duty to. As for the church fathers, I just want to hear them out, that's all. I want to consider their thoughts in such a way that honors them as human beings just figuring life out, not to craft my own belief system off their thoughts. Not to leech off them. Not to make a new doctrine. Not to argue something. Just to rest and put my arm around my friend from the past and love them for who they were.
I'm sick of all the debates, I'm sick of all the tradition having actual "say" in our lives. Let love inform you, that's all you need, I promise.
Thank ya!

Monday, November 4, 2013

Everyone and Their Lives

Today, I've been pondering what important beliefs I have about life, apart from Christianity/religious ideal. I ask myself this question every so often and it's been coming up a lot recently. I always seem to come back to knowing love in wholeness and community, encouraging and holding one another up and enjoying, adventuring, living in wonder and awe of ourselves and this world (and the Creator of it!). To me, Jesus is the final say about the goodness of humanity and serves as a reminder that we can't mess this thing up, this being human thing, because He forgave our troubled minds (as we asked Him to). He's so beautiful! That's who I want everyone to know in total and utter intimacy. That's literally all I want in life.
I've also been thinking about the implications of this in my life and "ministry." If I'm supposedly going into an exclusively Christian context, how does my views on  Scripture and sin affect that? Can I get a job? Will people still want me if I disagree with their major doctrines, but offer helpful alternatives and everything is MORESO rooted in love? I plan on taking some time off from Christian culture, at least predominantly, after college, so I'm not worried about a job immediately afterwards, but what about later down the line? I'm thinking a dry church is where I want to start, because at least change can happen there (quoting another author here...of The Art of Curating Worship, can't remember his name). I just want people to know that they're loved and they're not alone at all in this thing, that vulnerability is OKAY, and love is all we have and need. And I know the power of this played out in real life...I've seen it. It's sooo powerful and beautiful! Our Papa is such a good One! Haha! :) I just love Him! Goodnessssss! Hehahahaha :D
Oh, also with worship... what if the question isn't "How can I get Christians connected to God/the story of God/the drama of redemption?" but "How can I connect humanity with love active (the very God)?" What if God has multiple names? What if He's revealing Himself all over the place and Christians have tried to claim Him all for themselves? What if He's Yahweh and Elohim and Jesus but also some other names that sound so blasphemous to our Christian ears? What if? What does that say for worship and who we worship? I would hope nothing inherently bad but I'm afraid the implications are such, at least in a Christian context.
...I just feel so torn. What do I need to believe but love, and to let love show me what is beneficial to believe? I'll let my heart do the talking and I'll keep on walking without the shame and guilt and fear trips. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming. What do we do, we swim!
Children got the deal doooooowwwnnn.