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Wednesday, August 28, 2013

On Silence As Anticipation

If we...would only just listen to the silence...more often than not...we'd stop filling the seemingly empty airs with all these words that don't even matter. I...will call You Silence Man from now on. I...am not anywhere else but with You...here...in the breaths...in the breathing...of...our every...breath...to...gether. It is...the art...of love...being made...over...and over...again. It...is nothing...for of the peace of man there is not. There...is only...You...You...stripped...peeled...open...where...the...fullness...of humanity...is laid...there,...bare...naked.
I...like...the silence.
I...am...the silence. I...AM...the silence.
There's...so...much...to...be...contemplated...in...the silence.
All...that is...All that ever...was...is...birthed...again...and...again...in...the silence.
If...not...then...only...in...death.
Beauty...will...forever...be...rebirthed...again...and again...in the silence.
You...love...miracles.
You...love...wonder...simply...because...it...is...
There...is...an...excitement...in...being...still...
Anticipation...stands...and....remains/rebuilds

Monday, August 26, 2013

Journal 40

So I'm back for a third year and thank God, last year, of college. I feel like I've grown so much this summer that I'm just ready to be doing life ministry and moving on from here. But alas, here I am. Sitting in my room at school, blogging about school. Eh.
I am excited about what Jesus is going to show me this year. He keeps reassuring me that He has a lot of amazing gifts for me. And that's super cool! Especially since I feel like so many people here are all about "what crazy thing is God going to make me give up this year?" or "how am I going to become more holy?" and striving working dumb stuff. So for Him to just be like "yeah, gifts, wud up" is like "woo! I just get to open them! cool!!!!" Hahaha. So all in all it ends up being good.
There's just so much change this time around. All I feel like I'll be doing is nerding out constantly. Reading and writing papers. And getting some worship leading in there. I'll like that but it'll also be frustrating because I know I'm gonna disagree with quite a few things that are taught or thought about. But whatever. Confidence revealer! Hahaha.
I'm in a new dorm that's way different than last year. It's way quieter. I don't know how much I really like that because I was in a quiet dorm my first year and it wasn't all that great. Of course I didn't realize that until after the fact but yeah. Last year's dorm was completely perfect  for me so now reverting back to a place that doesn't fit my personality is weird. But me being super busy all the time I feel like will offset that. So it works out.
I've been super upset about leaving my boyfriend and family the past two days. And it is what it is. Just figuring everything out and that takes time.
But I'm stoked to have my mind blown and am just ready to get the flow going again! Woo! Go Jesus for loving me so closely and unconditionally, for wrecking me with your grace, for always being for me from the very foundations of the earth, and for rocking my mind and theology cause I have Yo mind. Baboom shakalaka. Hehehe. I love You so much, Lover of my soul. You're the least boring Person ever. I heart You.
Onward to homework now I suppose.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Journal 39

Alright. So.
So much has happened since I last wrote on here. Let's see.
I've spent most of my time hanging out with family and loving on them and being there for them and comforting and encouraging them. That's a complete learning process. And the Lord blessed it at the foundations of the earth, so I'm just revealing where His healing love is in all that. Awesome sauce.
I've started dating the most amazing boy in the entire universe. He just rules. Be jealous. But not really. Be happy. Hahaha. He's the best representation of Jesus I know, my best friend, my favorite person to adventure with in all ways and just everything from here to the moon. Woot! Go Trinity for setting that up! Lolz. I've learned sooooo much from him, it blows my MIND every single day. I'm truly incredibly blessed and I like that. :) To infinity and beyond!
I've been attending a group of lovers of Jesus this summer. I've got to see one of my favorite people while there and built more relationship with her. She's the best. Go Jesus for setting up knowing her, too! Haha.
I've been getting more into math rock and exploring its history and such because I'm a nerd and I love telling my boyfriend and anyone who's willing to listen all about what I'm discovering. I love digging up facts and histories of unpopular music. It's so much fun and cool in my book. It rules.
And Jesus is just being so good to me. He's revealing soooo much healing in me and that rules entirely so much. He's the best first love ever! Gosh...I'm so glad I've fallen in love with Him first. Wouldn't have it any other way. :)

So with that, be encouraged Body! All of humanity I mean! Hahaha. Giggle a little; it's good for your spirits. :)