To Listen While Reading


Monday, April 30, 2012

How long? How long will this grief last? You were not my everything, but you took up much of my life. I miss you. It seems like you're just a blurry memory now and that scares me. I get that we're becoming different people, but I miss what we had as friends, where we just connected on things. I miss our long talks, I miss you calling me to complain about things and me giving you a sermon, I miss hearing you cry on my shoulder, I miss going to the park with you, I miss driving you everywhere, I miss your presence in my life. I miss knowing what to pray about for you. I miss being nonchalant about me liking you and in a way, I still miss liking you. I miss having things to tell you. I miss journaling about you and writing you poems. I miss going to shows together and I miss playing them together. I miss telling you your taste in music kind of sucks. I miss representing Christ to you in everything I do. I miss you filling that whole in my heart where an awkward kid needs to be. But I pray the good Lord will replace it and restore it.
I don't know really where you're at or what you're doing and that bothers me, because I used to always know. I miss sending a billion texts of the same thing to your phone and you being surprised. I miss you being the catalyst for a lot of my action. And I miss sticking up for you. I miss looking out for you and always having your back. I miss telling you which direction you should head in next in life.
I miss a lot about us. That was 7 months of a relationship and 2 years of a friendship. We made each other. Who's going to make me now?
Jesus is Author and Creator, but He also sends people like you so I may have joy in my life. Where is the joy now? Oh where, oh where have you gone, true, pure joy?
I just want this sad song to mean something so sweet to somebody other than me.