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Sunday, April 21, 2013

Journal 37

Hey Papa.
I'm having a really hard time with this new journey You have on in receiving Your love for me as my Papa. I hear You echoing such sweet things about me, but they're too close for me to believe them about myself. I get You/Jesus as my Lover, I get that. I can accept that. But as my Father? What the heck do You see in me? I get the whole Jesus mirroring me thing. Totally. But what about just You? I sense that You are really the Trinity here and Your love for me as the Father is just as intimately wrapped up in that. There's something blocking me, like some saloon doors that need to be opened, haha.
I said, "Papa, I know You're here, but I'm not sure where. What have I done?"
You said, "Nothing, Dear. I've just shown you (some of the) width and height of My love. Now I want to show you My depths."
So I said, "Echo, echo."
Then You said, "Let go."
Of what? My lack of trust? My lack of trust. My lack of doing things for myself. My lack of becoming my own male figure. My lack of being my own dad. Oh, what I can't do for myself anymore when I learn to trust You, hahaha. Man...oh, Son of Man! This is hard!!! Hahaha. I certainly need You to sooo remind me allllll the timeeeeeeee with this one. Like, every second of every day or I certainly forget it all. Help me, Papa, ohhhh, help me. Hehehe.
I do know that I can giggle and You seem to love it.
Hahahaha. What a good Papa. :)

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Journal 36

Wow. It's been awhile, haha. I'm quite proud of myself, hahaha. Just cause I can be.
Lol.
Dang....
I've just been learning so much about freedom and what that really means. I've received revelation and I believe it's been confirmed that freedom is being TOTALLY free. Not at ALL bound by ANYTHING. Implying, I do not have a sin nature anymore and I am not prone to wander. I never really was, I just thought I was, or at least intuitively learned it from others that that was how I was supposed to act (however subconcious, your subconcious is some powerful stuff). But I've learned that freedom is in fact a license to sin because freedom is grace. How can grace not be a license to sin, because if it's not then that means it won't be around when you do! Haha! There's sooo much freedom on that! Freedom is freedom because it enables you to fail miserably or to do stupendously. Either way, it's there for you. It's your hero, hehe. It's your everything. We don't get or obtain freedom. Our whole lives are freedom, hehehe! We are infinite! Again, I say it!
WE ARE INFINITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ahhhhh... so much happiness manifesting right now everywhere. Just lookkkkkkk and soakkkk ka ka kaa ka ka

Dang, Daddy
I so love You a whole bunch and I love screaming it to the whole world! I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love!!!! ahahahaha!!! You make me laugh so hard because all my friends wanna know how I'm doing. I tell them awesome because You're just amazing and my HUSBAND. And then they giggle and pretend they understand. I mean, they do, but they've forgotten over time. So I remind them and it seems so weird and foreign to them to just be sooooo in love with You because You are and we are and I am and we are one!! That's enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bahahaha, so gooooooooood, Jesus!!! Wahooo! Woop!!! Water balloons cause we can. :)
lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
Happiness :)