Today, I've been pondering what important beliefs I have about life, apart from Christianity/religious ideal. I ask myself this question every so often and it's been coming up a lot recently. I always seem to come back to knowing love in wholeness and community, encouraging and holding one another up and enjoying, adventuring, living in wonder and awe of ourselves and this world (and the Creator of it!). To me, Jesus is the final say about the goodness of humanity and serves as a reminder that we can't mess this thing up, this being human thing, because He forgave our troubled minds (as we asked Him to). He's so beautiful! That's who I want everyone to know in total and utter intimacy. That's literally all I want in life.
I've also been thinking about the implications of this in my life and "ministry." If I'm supposedly going into an exclusively Christian context, how does my views on Scripture and sin affect that? Can I get a job? Will people still want me if I disagree with their major doctrines, but offer helpful alternatives and everything is MORESO rooted in love? I plan on taking some time off from Christian culture, at least predominantly, after college, so I'm not worried about a job immediately afterwards, but what about later down the line? I'm thinking a dry church is where I want to start, because at least change can happen there (quoting another author here...of The Art of Curating Worship, can't remember his name). I just want people to know that they're loved and they're not alone at all in this thing, that vulnerability is OKAY, and love is all we have and need. And I know the power of this played out in real life...I've seen it. It's sooo powerful and beautiful! Our Papa is such a good One! Haha! :) I just love Him! Goodnessssss! Hehahahaha :D
Oh, also with worship... what if the question isn't "How can I get Christians connected to God/the story of God/the drama of redemption?" but "How can I connect humanity with love active (the very God)?" What if God has multiple names? What if He's revealing Himself all over the place and Christians have tried to claim Him all for themselves? What if He's Yahweh and Elohim and Jesus but also some other names that sound so blasphemous to our Christian ears? What if? What does that say for worship and who we worship? I would hope nothing inherently bad but I'm afraid the implications are such, at least in a Christian context.
...I just feel so torn. What do I need to believe but love, and to let love show me what is beneficial to believe? I'll let my heart do the talking and I'll keep on walking without the shame and guilt and fear trips. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming. What do we do, we swim!
Children got the deal doooooowwwnnn.
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