A leader takes initiative. So take it, Martina. Because no one else freaking will. No one has any interest in staring Him in the face and falling in love with Him. They all want to do rules and organization and have emotional reactions once in a life. Go ahead, step out. You are more than a conqueror. He will give it all to you so you can give it back to Him.

How long? How long will this grief last? You were not my everything, but you took up much of my life. I miss you. It seems like you're just a blurry memory now and that scares me. I get that we're becoming different people, but I miss what we had as friends, where we just connected on things. I miss our long talks, I miss you calling me to complain about things and me giving you a sermon, I miss hearing you cry on my shoulder, I miss going to the park with you, I miss driving you everywhere, I miss your presence in my life. I miss knowing what to pray about for you. I miss being nonchalant about me liking you and in a way, I still miss liking you. I miss having things to tell you. I miss journaling about you and writing you poems. I miss going to shows together and I miss playing them together. I miss telling you your taste in music kind of sucks. I miss representing Christ to you in everything I do. I miss you filling that whole in my heart where an awkward kid needs to be. But I pray the good Lord will replace it and restore it.
I don't know really where you're at or what you're doing and that bothers me, because I used to always know. I miss sending a billion texts of the same thing to your phone and you being surprised. I miss you being the catalyst for a lot of my action. And I miss sticking up for you. I miss looking out for you and always having your back. I miss telling you which direction you should head in next in life.
I miss a lot about us. That was 7 months of a relationship and 2 years of a friendship. We made each other. Who's going to make me now?
Jesus is Author and Creator, but He also sends people like you so I may have joy in my life. Where is the joy now? Oh where, oh where have you gone, true, pure joy?
I just want this sad song to mean something so sweet to somebody other than me.

And Then

you learn to let go and move on!
First breath after coma.

I Was In Love With A Boy Once

When it was time to say goodbye
Love is not easy, love is not free.
I am young and not yet old.
Sure I got my hurt and I got my pain, but I'm alive; I can't complain.
Sure I got my hurt and I got my pain, but I'm alive; I can't complain.
There are things in life that just suck.

The False Self

The most complex simplicities occur in this life.
Since the Fall, I'll constantly be in search of the true me.
In light of eternity it will be but a flash of light.
Alas, the love I immortalized between man and woman will never fulfill me, though I still desire it. Should it present itself as a servant of the greatest Love, it is welcome here.

I Am Here

*Cough. Cough.*
Ahem.
...............
My God is real.
That is all.
*Click.*

I can hear You walking through the garden. Literally.

I See Dead Men Walking; I Can't Help But Prophesy

Prophetic declaration, do you see I feel?