Journal 24

Hey dearest friends! I'm so glad you're reading this. I'm so glad that Holy Spirit is the character in my life that's willing to preach truth to and through me. Enjoy!
So I was just reading a book about contemplation. I like to call it listening with your soul, doing with your soul, praying with your soul...whatever. Being in touch with Jesus and who is in me, so therefore who I am. And who He is. There's literally no trying in it. Some truths that I got out of this book, though:
Reason and faith (belief) bleed from contemplation. You cannot have real reason without going beyond it. You cannot conjure up faith or belief in anything; you stop. Stop everything and quit trying, not making that a work either.
Contemplation is beyond the five senses and thought. It does not perceive alone through sight...it sees without "seeing" (through your own physical eyes)...it knows without "knowing" (isn't just a thought or some thoughts about something...it does not conjure up thoughts on its own...it stops trying to know and just knows; also not a work).
Contemplation resumes, transcends, and fulfills poetry, music, and art. It transcends them all because it goes beyond them. It fulfills them because they all can make suggestions towards contemplation but can never be contemplation in and of themselves. For example, a poem can never be a means to contemplation in and of itself. One may contemplate through the poem, but not because of the poem. One contemplates because they contemplate. Through the poem, they may see more things without "seeing" and know more things without "knowing." I believe not because of trying, but because of God. Holy Spirit does all the work.
Here's what I'm mulling over: resuming. I'm not entirely sure what that means. Contemplation resumes the arts. Resume. Take off pause. Restart. Start up (again). After stuff has already happened. I'm thinking of a video game being paused after some action and then being resumed, starting up again after action is paused. Action being paused. The arts are birthed from a lack of action. Only after then do they start up again. Only after then do they have any meaning, any hint, any suggestion of contemplation, of seeing without "seeing" and knowing without "knowing." Poetry, music, and art are not an effort or a work. They are a love dream. I am God's poem. I am God's music. I am God's art. A love dream is a dream dreamed out of love. Love is not a work, nor a verb. Love is God. God is God. God is Holy Spirit, God is Jesus. God is...in me, fulfilled, in love with His creation, everything...Love is everything. Love is effortless. I feel so dangerous saying that, but I know it's true because I wasn't trying to see or know. I just was. Fluid thought, fluid contemplation. Love. Ecstasy. Bliss. Blam. Bloom. Blum.
Plums.
Joy
"Your life is full of pure desire; a place so gloriously wired"

Journal 10

God, oh my God!! You are soooooo good! Wooo! No fear now! Haha!
Today, Holy Spirit revealed this to me:
I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy. The law enforcer is dead but not the substitute!!!! Ahahahahahahahaha!!! My spiritual mom got drunk on that today when I texted her. So great!! Glory!!
I've been really frustrated lately. I hate how people talk about Jesus like He's so distant. He's not. He's so close, He's our breath. Shoot, He's closer than our breath! Get a hold of that, Church! Wake up!!
I'm sick and tired of religion. I'm sick and tired of working and striving and trying really hard and doing doing doing doing. That's done. OH MY GAWSH, I'm tired of songs that don't even know what they say at all and are totally contradictory to themselves. I'm gonna write a poem about it. We sing, "I'm free...set me free Jesus. I'm saved...save me one more time, Jesus. You are love and became my sacrifice that cleanse me so I could be as close as You are to the Father...make me pure and bring me closer." What?? What IS that junk?! People who don't know who they are, that's who! Ha! Goddddddddddddddddddddddddd, guys. WAKE UP, BEAUTIFUL BRIDE OF CHRIST!
I'm sick of getting my toes stepped on. They're broken and I can't simply walk. I gotta try really hard and watch myself that way. Dumb. I'm done with you, religion! Hahahahahahaha! YOU'VE BEEN SHOT!
I'm sick of the beautiful Bride of Christ being told she's ugly and stupid and needs to get with it. Tell those that are telling Her that that they are! Brood of vipers, you fakes! The spotless Bride is made spotless by the spotless King that became her sacrifice. She's beautiful, she just realizes that more and more and manifests her knowledge, her beliefs. Get your theology back, Church!
That's secularization there, doing, working, striving, guilt tripping, controlling. BLEH!
WE ARE ALIIIIIIIIVE! WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Jesus, You've WON me, You've broken EVERY chain! WOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP!
That's what makes me wanna dance and be a fool and perform miracles and speak in tongues. Not my duty to because there's more to spiritual life or whatever. Woahh.
Peace floods like a river, like a MIGHTY gust of wind.