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Saturday, February 25, 2012

A prayer

Dear Adam Lazarra,

I got into your band, Taking Back Sunday, when I was a 7th grader. You guys were one of the very first bands that got me into the music I listen to now; you jumpstarted me into my music listening and playing habits, so thank you so much for that. You are all talented and you are a particularly wonderfully talented vocalist and one of the best frontmen I've ever seen.
As a pubescent girl, though, searching for herself, I latched right onto you all and became unhealthily obsessed (is there ever a healthy obsession?). It came to a point where I realized I literally followed you religiously. I love your music and all, don't get me wrong, but it was just bad regardless, and I'm sorry I looked at your band as superhuman and not as you truly were/are. As a musician myself, I know, to a much smaller extent, how valuable it is for people to just enjoy your music and see you as a human, too, so sorry for being a creep.
Also, I must add, Mr. Lazarra, you are a rather attractive fellow (just in case you weren't aware, a majority of your female fanbase feels exactly the same way...) and my little mind wandered as a young girl often and online fanfiction about you only fed it, so I apologize for thinking of you in such a way. I had to fast your band for a year and then some before I could come back and get my mind in the right place, and thank the LORD, it worked! Now I'm listening to you guys just glad that you all exist and followed your passions--thank you for choosing to! (I've heard that you joined the band and moved to New York from North Carolina to pursue this life? If this is correct, kudos! Not everyone has the kahonas to do that)
Anyways, my point in addressing this to you was to one, apologize, and two, let you know that I'm praying for you. During my obsessive years, I learned a whole lot about you (or at least what the web had to offer...forgive me if it's all false) and it appears that, while also listening to your lyrics, that you're a believer in God. Me too! I have no clue what your entire background is (apparently at least somewhat Catholic...?) so I won't pretend like I do by any means. As I listen to some of your lyrics (which you write very creatively I must say), I can't help but hear some pain, though I may never go through anything you ever have or ever totally understand them. I just wanted to apologize on behalf of anyone whose ever hurt you in a bad way, if you know what I mean. We're all capable of making mistakes and unfortunately also capable of being at the receiving end. I also apologize for anyone whose ever hurt you in the name of God or under the title "Christian." The thing is, we screw up, too, and hurt people, but sometimes we're too proud to admit our wrongs. It's dangerously easy to lean on judgment as a way of avoiding the truth about ourselves. I realize that something happened between you and your ex-fiance and again, I wasn't there; I won't pretend. I just hear what I hear in your music and I'm sorry for everything that may or may not have went down. I recently went through pains with a boy and it's never fun.
Pain makes us better, though, right? I am glad to hear that you are doing better, what with your family and everything and the reuniting of old friends! I'm glad to hear less painful lyrics because that means you're feeling less of it, or so it appears.
In general, I just wanted to let you know I'm praying, like I stated before. I won't pray that you'll experience God my way or anything like that; that would be a little absurd. I'm praying that He'll protect you, keep you and your family and your band well, bless you abundantly, continue to mend broken relationships, and that you'll experience Him however He wants you to. I really admire you as a musician and your apparent honest living, but I know He admires you so much more because you're His beloved son, no matter what anyone tells you about how you're not. The thing we forget so entirely too much is that Jesus died on the cross for everything; His last words were "it is finished," meaning He took EVERYTHING, not just some of it. His wrath is done and over with for those who are in Him. He's got you and I'm believing He'll keep having you. He's talking to you, our only job is to listen.
You're an amazing man, sir, and a blessing to many, many people. Blessings upon you!
Much love (all lust completely aside now), Martina

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